Well, looking back at my previous posts, they're all negative ones. I've decided to start anew and approach a more mature way of blogging. This blog is kinda dead but somehow at certain points of my life, i actually still do enjoy it even if it's just for myself. :)
I've just turned 18 about a month ago and I've seen how much all my friends have grown within this month. Really, just in this one short month. Friends getting into relationships, (P.S. Literally 90% of them. Hahaha! Really happy for some but speechless for some too..), friends struggling in their lives and most importantly, family members aging. You see, it's sorta holidays now so i'm rather free and i'm on a scrapbook project. A book to keep all the memories of countries we've been to as a family since my brother and I came to this world. While i've been sorting through the old photos, i saw how much my dad aged and how much my mom has wrinkled...
Somehow I'm really afraid of growing up 'cos I'm afraid of losing my loved ones. My grandma, grandpa, parents, aunts, uncles and sometimes even my brother. It's almost two years since my great-grandaunt passed away. She was the first person that left me with memories of times that we've spent together in this world. I guess the next closest person that passed away was my maternal grandpa but I was only five when he was gone? Memories were limited. I definitely did not cry like how people did in dramas when relatives passed away, but the feeling of someone that's gone in your life forever is weird. Can't be explained and totally not a good experience. Sometimes I really miss you, yi-tai-po. :)
Happy moments? Realised how much I mean to some friends in my life and how much they mean to me too, both positively and negatively. In two years time I'm gonna turn 20 and I am getting more and more certain that my life in the future will definitely not be an ordinary one. I may not be the smartest person in the world but I know I can make a difference in this world and I want to. :) Although I am not sure how for the time being, everything will make sense within these few years. I am gonna shape my own future! Just wait and see! :)
Beautiful moments in the past that's worth remembering! :)
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