Okay, so I haven't been updating in a while but this is just gonna be a short one.
I think I sorta figured out why my character isn't as girly and how I am more guy-ish than girls in general. The root cause? My family. Okay, maybe just my dad. You see, I have a brother who is three years older. Somehow, he seem to have all the necessary freedom to make decisions on his own and my dad rarely has a differing opinion. I think what I've been trying to do as a child, is to make myself more like a guy. To prove that I can take care of myself and convince them to let me make my own decisions and not be rejected by my dad for umpteen times. Whatever nonsense that it is not safe and you are a girl, they can be true but only to a certain extent (at least I believe so). I am still trying to figure out a perfect way to break out of this. Anybody knows how? I certainly do not want myself to make my decisions based on my dad's decision forever. I wanna start living my own life already. Sometimes I wonder, why do I still have to listen to my dad for the final say? Why must he always be the last barrier that I have to cross? Why can't I take charge of my own life? I feel like I can actually break out of this because all that's left now is just respect and love for my dad. Rebellion is all that it takes.This is a recurring feeling that I've been getting this year. Maybe it's a sign...
Self-analyzing in a whole new level. Haha
