Time to grow up.

Well, I feel like I've finally grown up and I can see things differently from many perspectives these days. Some people are just born selfish, some born kind and some just insensitive. We are always and will be always facing uncomfortable situations. For an adult, isn't it always about looking out for the younger ones even if they're not your own children in dangerous situations? I do not understand how is it possible for one adult to totally ignore two teenagers and just flee for himself and I don't think I can ever understand how you did that. These crazy experiences recently made me look at you differently and I am now starting to understand why others look at you in that way. I miss the old **** who was loving, caring and thoughtful who was always there for us, looking out for us before she changed into almost someone like you today. Seriously, sometimes love can really blind a person. I still do not get how is it possible. 


Also, I got my A-level results back like two/three weeks ago and it was bad. Most of the grades are what i expected but some are plainly just disappointments. I was considering to retake but I clearly forgotten the dateline for registration was yesterday and I was not prepared to make a serious decision of retaking it then, so ohwell, face it and just go to a private uni I guess, shouldn't be that bad after all? I would really wanna go to a local uni and enjoy my life in the campus but if things really didn't turn out to be what I expect it to be, what else can I do right? Just make the best outta what I have now then! :) Results aren't necessarily everything right? Yes I know I'm saying this because my results aren't good, if it's good I would not have to say sucha thing to begin with right...Anyways, my goal to make a difference in this world still remains and no matter how tough this road is gonna be, my ultimate aim will still be there. :) I still believe it's possible. Everyone can make a difference. 


Lesson learnt over the past few weeks: Appreciate what people around you had done for you and show them that you know it. Behave maturely and learn how to deal with abrupt situations given to you. Sometimes people just need to face it and learn how to get over it someday.


I miss days when we were younger~
Friends who were all innocent and want the best for you irregardless of what happens~
Days when houses are filled with people having the time of their lives and not discussing about serious affairs ALL the time~
And I kinda miss you too~

This.Is.Reality.

Sometimes I just want to have a stranger sit beside me and listen to all the things I'm going through, all the problems I'm facing. It just makes things simpler and tell me everything's gonna be okay...

Secrets.

People keep secrets because they want to hide them, ever realise they end up revealing them by hiding?

*MELTS*

OHMYGOSH RIGHT?!?! 
I.K.R.
Adamn Gregory as Ty Collins in 90210! 
Okay I don't know if I'm lagging behind since 90210 season one is a pretty old show but ANYWAYS! I was totally :O when I saw him appearing in just episode one! hahaha! P.S.It is exactly this scene! This was what he's wearing!! :DD


OKAY. THAT'S ALL FOR MY FAN GIRL MOMENT :D
Shall continue with 90210~

Coincidence.

I'm having fun for the past few days!! And I must say, we gotta expect the unexpected at times!! :D

I had TWO coincidences in a day....wait for it.....& TWICE IN A WEEK!!! Friends that I've not seen in years, like really years...

Somehow, I miss school. Hahaha, miss those days when we can just sit in class or LT and laugh without worrying about anything. DAMN.

Met Berenice and Wanteng at Lot One!

Met Siang Ning at the bus stop after that!

Met Alisa(1st) and Berlyn(2nd) at Jurong Point!

MAKE.A.WISH.

Make a wish and place it in your heart.
Anything you want.
Everything you want.
Now believe it can come true.
You never know when the next miracle will come,
when the next wish will come true.


The world is full of magic.
You just have to believe with all your heart.

Overview.

Hey blog, I've finally changed that weird blog skin :)

Well, looking back at my previous posts, they're all negative ones. I've decided to start anew and approach a more mature way of blogging. This blog is kinda dead but somehow at certain points of my life, i actually still do enjoy it even if it's just for myself. :) 

I've just turned 18 about a month ago and I've seen how much all my friends have grown within this month. Really, just in this one short month. Friends getting into relationships, (P.S. Literally 90% of them. Hahaha! Really happy for some but speechless for some too..), friends struggling in their lives and most importantly, family members aging. You see, it's sorta holidays now so i'm rather free and i'm on a scrapbook project. A book to keep all the memories of countries we've been to as a family since my brother and I came to this world. While i've been sorting through the old photos, i saw how much my dad aged and how much my mom has wrinkled... 

Somehow I'm really afraid of growing up 'cos I'm afraid of losing my loved ones. My grandma, grandpa, parents, aunts, uncles and sometimes even my brother. It's almost two years since my great-grandaunt passed away. She was the first person that left me with memories of times that we've spent together in this world. I guess the next closest person that passed away was my maternal grandpa but I was only five when he was gone? Memories were limited. I definitely did not cry like how people did in dramas when relatives passed away, but the feeling of someone that's gone in your life forever is weird. Can't be explained and totally not a good experience. Sometimes I really miss you, yi-tai-po. :) 

Happy moments? Realised how much I mean to some friends in my life and how much they mean to me too, both positively and negatively. In two years time I'm gonna turn 20 and I am getting more and more certain that my life in the future will definitely not be an ordinary one. I may not be the smartest person in the world but I know I can make a difference in this world and I want to. :) Although I am not sure how for the time being, everything will make sense within these few years. I am gonna shape my own future! Just wait and see! :) 

Beautiful moments in the past that's worth remembering! :)

SOMETIMES I REALLY JUST WANT YOU OUTTA MY LIFE.
PLEASE TEACH ME HOW TO DO THAT.
YOU WILL NEVER EVER GET IT, WILL YOU? 

I dont want to be your best friend anymore.
I dont want to hear your same old stories anymore.
Do you even think we're still the same?
I am uncomfortable with everything you do.
What are best friends for?
Yeah really, what are they for.

PISSED 
PISSED
PISSED


ANGRY
ANGRY
ANGRY


囧
囧
囧

WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALMOST THERE!

ALMOST THERE!!!!!


TWO MORE DAYS TO RE-DOWLOADING OF FUNSHION!!! :PPP


Although there's three more papers left, i do think that i deserve some break meanwhile! Maybe a couple of episodes of friends season 9 or some hyimym!! :DDDD

I.MISS.CHINESE.

人总是这样，永远都不会珍惜眼前的一切一切。

:)

And in another life I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
And in another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

The one, the one, the one
The one that got away

All these money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa
'Cause now I pay the price

Girlfriends

Ever wondered why some of your girlfriends only talk about ONE topic whenever you guys meetup? 
If you get what i mean.


Basically, I get the gist and you do not have to keep harping on the same issue again and again and again. You know how annoying it gets? And i've been 'tolerating' it for years... Okay, tolerating might be too harsh a word to use but i cant think of any that's better. Sometimes, you just have to get over it you know? Seriously, GET.OVER.IT. 


Things used to be very nice and i am extremely comfortable whenever i'm with you. We can talk about anything under the sky. And i dont know since when i've started to lose interest in the things we talk about maybe because IT.IS.ALWAYS.THE.SAME.THING. Come on, that's not what bffs do right! =.= 
人会变，月会圆。
Sometimes things are just not the same anymore, we all have our own lives.
So, just.move.on...........




"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


How i wish...

What's supposed to happen in my life right now?

Okay, i've gotta admit that after i started looking at (mayb slight stalking) siwei's blog recently, i gort the feel to blog again. Hehehe! But erm, i just wanna 'talk' you see, so dont expect much. LOLS


Recently, i realised i.can.be.quite.mean.at.times. But you gotta understand that it can't be controlled right?!
P.S. I gort a SERIOUS weakness when it comes to pronounciation errors....I am definitely not very good at my pronounciation either, but its just that i find it damn funny when ppl make mistakes. I mean lyk, if i made the same mistake myself, i'll also laugh at myself! :DDDD hahahah!!! So, I sincerely apologise to all those ppl that i've once laughed at... :SSS


So, W.O.W. A levels in like 33days??? That's VERY fast actually...I somehow think i'm pretty ready alrdy but obviously my marks arent showing it. Okay, mayb my definition of ready is lyk 'at least i wont be entering in with a blank mind'. Ohwell, study harder Vanessa! Change your thinking!!! 'IT.IS.NOT.OKAY.IF.I.DONT.DO.WELL.FOR.A.LEVELS' 
Sometimes, it is just REALLY hard to understand why people place so much emphasise on how important A levels is? Right?!?! Okay, our ultimate aim is to get into a university since we chose this JC path right? So, what if we screwed up a levels? Bad results = Cannot get into a university? Okay, after hearing a lot of stories, i came to a conclusion that money matters are almost everybody's concern here. Maybe i do not know enough, but not enough money = cannot go into local uni = ??? Really? I think it is more like maybe the route will be tougher but definitely not the end. Why not try taking the tougher route sometimes right? Alright, i admit i may not want to go through the poly route and face the fact that i've wasted two years in my jc life but i am okay with it......i just need time to slowly digest this disgusting fact. So, Fret not guys!! Just give our best in this crazydisgustingstupidrubbish a levels and see how it will lead us on when we get our results back! 


Errr TOO LONG A POST. Ending it. Hahahha! 


Goodnight! :DDD

OKAY... Let's see, April was the last time i updated this blog. What has changed from April till September in my life?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A.L.O.T.

Too lazy to talk about what has changed.

Erm, Siwei asked me to update and i am updating but its been too long, i forgotten how blogging is done... :SSSS

Hmmmm, pretty much things happened today and ermm dont really feel lyk mentioning it but think everything's gonna be fine coz come on, it's VANESSA right! There's gotta be a reason for me to be me!! *if you get what i mean* :)))

Oh well, A levels is coming and yeapp NOT.MUCH.TIME.LEFT. but i believe that there will be enough for me to change things! :)))

EVEN IF I GORT THREE Us, I CAN STILL GET MY THREE As! ----- This is what i learnt today! :DDD

When loneliness struck me...

I mean like it is not up to me to really choose how i'm born with right, some people arent just that proactive and if you dont try to approach me how will you noe? Plus, i think all guys are real superficial =.=

Hmmm, i'll say that it may be true that hormones are raging at our age and sometimes we may be desperate, but what's wrong with being a lil' more mature? I mean yeah i may not be as fun and as approachable or say as pretty as the others, but for goodness sake, you guys arent anywhere better? And i agree that life is really pretty tough in JC, but how do you deal with awkward moments, like SERIOUSLY?!

Arghhh whatever, totally feel like saying, 'I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.'

No more DRAMAS.

No more LAPTOP.

No more FACEBOOK.

All these will take effect ASAP :)

Honestly, I think I've never felt so awkward and so affected before. Great. :-S

A confession to make.

After so long, I'm back to my blog (temporarily; ignoring the previous post on that was extremely childish, immature, retarded and stupid dispute =.= ). Okay, I've officially screwed up my common test, so i won't mention further on that. I've gotta admit that i'm really really affected by what i heard the other day but you know, it cant be controlled. As much as i wanna ignore it and just move on in life, i can't. So yeah.. It has been long since i've ever felt like this so i guess it kinda shows its significance. Oh well, time to deal with it Vanessa. :)

TOTALLY BEING A NICE GIRL HERE.

Okay, majority equals to lyk 14 outta 24? Plus what makes you think the other 3 can make more constructive comments when the arguments you guys had werent exactly strong enough? Btw, yongshin didnt even say a single thing just now. So look who's talking. If it makes you feel better, i wasnt part of the majority so say lyk FOUR people didnt attend just now from the majority, makes a lot of diff huh?.

Something's wrong.. Like REAL wrong..

But i don't know why and since when it went wrong.

:((((

Just when you thought things would get worse, it FINALLY got better! :))))

Somehow I enjoy your company no more.

Once again I'm saying this, I HATE AND YES ITS A HATE AA(or mayb some of you call it AS,wadeva.) PEOPLE.

I think i've never felt so uncomfortable before.

This is bothering me MUCH more than i expected it to.

Shit. Embarrassed TO THE MAX!!!

:(((((((((((((((((

Undergoing a roller coaster of emotions these days.

I don't know why.

Things get really outta hand at times and when I try to bring it back or salvage the situation, I can never satisfy everybody.

Therefore, I Give Up! :DD